Prashant was a bit anxious today for
this coming meeting. Smoking his Classic Milds at a nervous speed on the stairs
of his office from where he can look down upon the parking lot. A self-made
man, he headed the digital marketing division of his company started in zest
about a decade back with his friends. Today they command a good position in the
market so there is simply no need for Prashant to feel this nervous energy
before a meeting that he hasn't felt in a long time. Not even last week for the
meeting to pitch for a leading FMCG giant. And today's meeting was actually
professionally insignificant, atleast from their side. Interestingly what set
the ball rolling for this one was another chance meeting during that last
week's pitch.
His chain of thoughts was suddenly
broken when he saw this Ola cab stop at their parking. Right on time he
thought, his wait was finally over, a wait to resolve some unfinished business,
that he has been doing for over 2 decades and not just today! Once again the
edginess in his temper today came back; he needed to really get hold of
himself. He was not a school kid or a teenager to be acting like this. He
actually did not know if it was really her in the cab or her at all, just a
guess from the time. He threw away the
cigarette ignored for a while, still burning well into its butt.
He went inside his office and told
his junior that someone was coming to meet him, so bring her to the meeting
cabin once she arrives. After a few splashes of water on the face, he felt
ready both inside and outside to meet this almost stranger. But that composure
changed when she entered the cabin and looked at him with those same deep eyes
sans the anger and tears he last remembered. Even before the introduction was
made, in his heart Prashant knew that the old classmate he incidentally met
during that last week meeting, told him the truth. This was Anubhuti, another
classmate of his but a little more than that, best friends, his crush, perhaps
love too had he really known the meaning of the word at that age. But whatever names
the relationship you want to give, she was the one he had an unfinished
business since long and that is why this meeting today was so important to him.
She might not remember him today but he remembered everything that happened
between them till the last incident that changed everything forever - as their
handholding had ended so did their friendship.
Prashant would've gone deep into his
thought had Anubhuti not broken it with her introduction. She was senior
manager in a leading content marketing platform, that was after this leading
FMCG company for their profitable business. She thought that the deal was secure
as she had met an old classmate in the communication department there. But then
he told her that they had appointed a digital communication agency and they
will only decide about going ahead with their platform if they find the agency
purposeful and they will only deal with them afterwards. So here she was
meeting the head-digital marketing to explain the platform and its benefits.
But what she didn't know was that there was an ulterior motive to this meeting
too. Their mutual friend in the company Karun knew about their friendship and
had recognised them both while meeting them. So when he told Prashant about
her, he was very eager to meet her and it was decided that this meeting would
be set up like this.
As her presentation rolled on,
Prashant’s thoughts kept going back to their school days. They were both good
at studies since kindergarten, and yet enjoyed games and recreational
activities equally. It wasn't as if they only spent time with each other, they
had their own friend's circle amongst their respective genders. Afterall this
was still mid 90s and a boy and girl seen constantly together was scandalous to
many. But coming from open-minded families they never really had any hitch
about being friends with opposite gender, be it with each other or others. With
time though they had grown accustomed to each other more than anyone else, from
sharing tiffin in the group to going back home together. His house was on the
way to hers, just a block away. In primary school they had the same ‘Dai-ma’
taking them back home with other kids on the way. The practice had continued
even after there was no ‘Dai-ma’ or other students accompanying them now that
they were in junior school.
Anubhuti broke his wandering
thoughts once again, as she asked him a question on what she was just
explaining, thinking he was not really paying attention, a classic case when a
customer is simply not interested. But Prashant had already done his background
research on the product and answered it to her satisfaction that he understood
what she was explaining. Once again this took Prashant back to those days when
due to his distracted nature and slow handwriting he missed class notes and he
would go to her house almost every evening to copy them from her. An
exasperated Anubhuti seeing him being distracted and slow would herself take up
the copy and copy the notes for him, so they could just get on with some play
before it became dark and he had to go home with his aunt downstairs talking to
her mom. More than her though this evening ritual had become an irritation for
the boys group Prashant was part of. He would miss their evening cricket and
football matches and they really started teasing him for his friendship with
her. After all even though liberalisation had opened the economy for a few
years now, minds of people were still closed about a girl and boy being close
friends. Murmuring taunts of P loves A could be heard in the school corridors
whenever they met or just stood nearby coincidentally. Even his best friend
Pradeep who wholeheartedly supported them had actually indicated that he at
times felt left out, specially when he would share more food with her in his
tiffin and not him!!!
After completing her presentation,
Anubhuti asked him if he found the product interesting and how would he like to
proceed further. At this Prashant realised, that even before he had gathered
his thoughts on how to deal with their unfinished business, this meeting had
come to an end. Now the nervous energy before the meeting was again back in
Prashant. Despite being a communication professional for over a decade,
suddenly opening up and talking at a personal level was not his forte. He tried
stalling her stay by apologising for not offering her coffee or tea before and
asked if she would like one and they can discuss some nitty-gritty though he
had got everything completely. But she politely refused as she was not really
big into drinking tea-coffee and also had a personal commitment approaching.
But she said would be happy to discuss way forward or any doubts he had over
email if he needed time to sort his mind out. Prashant realised that she was
actually in some hurry but also that his lack of concentration had miffed her.
He realised she hadn't really changed much after all these years, still very
perceptive about others thoughts. She could specially read him like her text
books and yes getting irritated easily was something of a weakness they both
shared. Both these qualities perhaps were instrumentals in what eventually
happened between them.
With time he had grown more
attracted towards sports as with many boys of that age and he slipped in rankings,
no more 1-2 between them anymore. She held on to being top of the class almost
unchallenged then. But that didn't really bother him, atleast not more than the
fact that now in junior school class they couldn't sit together due to
difference in roll numbers and sitting arrangements between boys and girls in
the class. But whenever he got to spend time with her it made him really happy,
he even enjoyed playing girly games with her just like the sports he played
with the boys. Memories of games they played brought a silly smile to
Prashant's face even today. As little kids they played so many scenarios of
husband-wife with her toy kitchen set and his bag, of course they had grown
over those with time but there still was an unexplained intimacy in their games
like antakshari even when they played among group of friends.
By now Anubhuti was rather
frustrated, she had been standing silly before this guy with her hands extended
for a parting handshake and he was lost in his own world. She withdrew her hand
and said a semi polite bye; thinking to herself, clearly this was their last
meeting. Even if they do get this client, of which the chances she thought were
slim, she would request TL to assign some other manager to this account. She
wouldn't be put through such disdain once again, big client or small. How
ironical it was that when she first saw him, she actually felt she knew him, a
long lost friend perhaps he reminded her of. It was now the turn for her chain
of thoughts being broken when he called her standing from his desk.
Prashant realised this was his last chance,
if nothing but of just a closure for what had happened between them all those
years ago. Things for which he felt truly sorry, and since years he has been
trying to find her just so he can get that one chance of redemption. So to
prolong their time together, Prashant asked her if he could accompany her
downstairs till she gets a cab or something as he was going down as well to get
a new pack of cigarettes. Although she said it was not at all necessary as her
ride was already there, she did not object to him walking down with her,
opening doors for her with complete civility and attentiveness missing so far.
For Prashant, his birthday was never
something he really wanted to celebrate in a big way, only 3-4 close friends,
including Anubhuti were invited at his home with his family celebrating it all
together. That year though leading up to his birthday, things were not very
bright, they had grown further distant somehow. Half yearly results saw Prashant
slip beyond top 10, and the taunts regarding them together among peers had
grown sharper. What was worst is that he felt these things had made her cold
towards him and that made him bitter. However, as his birthday drew near he
invited her as always and she too accepted happily. For once he thought things
would be better between them from now on.
But as things turned out that
birthday and the day after, it ended up being the worst, one that changed many
things in his life, including a resolve to never celebrate his birthday ever
again. That day the weather like his mood had turned cloudy and gloomy and
things became worst as the day rolled on. The drizzling that had started since
morning kept making return appearances and that made it difficult for his
friends to appear for his birthday. What was worst for him that even Anubhuti
hadn't come who lived the closest. It was almost 8 o'clock, late even for
ending such a party in those days and he hadn't even cut the cake despite
everyone in his family asking him to. Finally he had lost all patience and just
went out to call her from her house. It was big step as a kid his age going
alone out at that late time, but he did not stop for anyone as tears and anger threatened
to spill out.
It felt like a lightning strike when
upon reaching her doorstep he found the door locked. He felt betrayed, she had
gone out but not for his birthday, it was not that she got stuck in rain.
Atleast she could've shown up just for a minute when she was going out with her
family, he thought, but no why would she waste her time. The idea of her giving
no importance to him broke barriers of his anger. Just as he would've made a
fool of himself by doing something rash in the middle of the road, his best
friend Pradeep's hand was on his shoulder calling his name, saying sorry that
he got stuck with rain and muddy road.
Prashant was shaken out of his
reverie finally by Anubhuti saying her ride was here. Shocked he realised they
had already reached the building gate and a Honda City car was approaching
them, driven by a smart looking guy of their age. Anubhuti smiled at the guy
and turned to Prashant and said thanks for your time Prashant, you need not
worry now as my husband is here to pick me. Even though we did not reach a deal
today, look forward to a positive outcome of our meeting. With that she opened
the passenger side door and sat in the car that had already pulled up before
them.
As they drove away a stunned
Prashant realised he had blown away his chance of closing the unfinished business
just like in all those days till their school session was over after the
fateful next day of his birthday. That day he had cornered Anubhuti at the
first chance he got and had harshly asked what was so important for her that
she missed his birthday. He thought it was her ego that was coming in between
them, while infact it was his own bruised one that was making him so angry to
notice that she was already tensed about something. He didn't even wait for her
reply, and slapped her across her face – a slap that had come from sheer
frustration and anger. It was first time he hit a girl and that too Anubhuti. She
stood stunned; her beautiful eyes that always had expressed joy of her heart only
had tears of hurt, anger and disgust in them. Seeing this change was the first
strike for him, what came next were her words that cut him deep. She said,
listen Prashant, I don't think we can be friends anymore. You have broken
everything. There is no need to worry about attending each other's birthday
anymore, as let us not call each other for them. No need to come to my house
anymore, I won't bother you either. Saying this she stormed out of the empty
class and school. Somewhere deep down Prashant regretted slapping her, the guilt
of it still pained him and made him promise to himself never to hit a girl again
But that time his ego didn't let him go after her or apologize or talk to her
in days to come. His ego didn't even let him go towards her house for a long
time.
As the holidays progressed, he
started missing her. The feeling of guilt also crept up but not enough still to
overcome his ego and allow him to go to her house and talk to her. But one day
his aunt brought news that broke the barriers of his ego. Anubhuti's family had
moved out of town as her father got transferred somewhere. She was surprised to
know that they didn't even meet once before going away and Prashant was
clueless about all this. Hearing this Prashant ran out of house like mad only
stopping before her doorstep. This time there was an even bigger lock on the
door, indicating a permanency to her absence.
That night after his father came
home for his weekend and Prashant was lying on bed with him, he told him
everything that had happened as his father was more of a friend than a strict
father and he could speak anytime anything with him. His father listened to him
patiently as always, he was soothing in his approach but did reprimand him for
his behaviour. In the end he asked, do you love her? Prashant was still much
young to realise the true meaning of that word, but through his emotional
turmoil he felt that if his father said so then it must be it. He assured him
that he will help him find her if she didn't contact him, and once they were of
age, he will arrange their marriage. A flutter of hope that those words had
kindled in him remained unfulfilled till today. His father had died much
earlier than he came of age, just about a year after this incident. The hope
had over time turned into a deep regret that he had lived all these years.
It wasn’t as if Prashant stopped
living or he never fell for a girl once again. But he never stopped his quest
to find that one chance to meet Anubhuti and express his regret for what he happened
between them. But today when the chance had finally come, he blew it once
again. The rekindled hope of closing an unfinished business and seeking
redemption after so many years had finally died forever.